In March 2019 I finished Kokoro 53, SEALFIT's 50-hour crucible built on Navy SEAL training. Fifty hours is a long time to keep going, and nobody finishes it alone. The people next to you carry you through the hours when you would have stopped on your own.
I have thought about that a lot since, because the executive version of that crucible is lonely in a way the physical one never was.
The higher you climb, the fewer people tell you the truth
When I was rising through a multi-billion-dollar company, I had plenty of peers to compare notes with. As a CEO, that circle got very small. My team reported to me. My board evaluated me. Very few people had a reason to tell me something I did not want to hear.
That isolation is a big part of why we see executive burnout as a systems problem. Leaders carry responsibility for outcomes without a place to think out loud about them. You can read more in our piece on executive burnout.
What peers outside your company give you
Peers from outside your company have no stake in your decisions. They will not be affected by your reorganization, they are not competing for your job and they have nothing to gain by telling you what you want to hear. They have also faced the same kinds of problems in different settings, so they can tell you what worked for them and what blew up.
What a good peer community looks like
Small. Candor needs trust, and trust needs a room small enough that people know each other.
Invite only. Everyone in the room should be carrying similar weight, so the conversation stays at the level you need.
No pitches. The moment the room becomes a sales opportunity, the honesty leaves.
A reason to come back. A single dinner is pleasant. A community you return to, with the same faces, is where the real relationships form.
That is why we built The Collective
The Collective is our community of Dallas–Fort Worth executives. It includes the invite-only Collective Roundtable, the Worth Following Summit, two days on growing as a leader, and The Everest Expedition, a few days outside together, where the hard parts of the trail do what the hard parts of Kokoro did for me.
Who are the people who will tell you the truth? If you can't name them, request an invite.
Frequently asked questions
Why do executives feel isolated?
Senior leaders carry responsibility for outcomes while the people around them report to them, evaluate them or compete with them, so very few people have a reason to tell them the hard truth.
What makes a peer group useful for executives?
A small, invite-only group of leaders carrying similar weight, with no sales pitches, who meet often enough to build real trust and candor.
What is The Collective?
Everest Collective's community of Dallas–Fort Worth executives, including the Collective Roundtable, the Worth Following Summit, The Everest Expedition and the Collective Gala.
Related service: The Collective
